Difficult talks like those about drugs, alcohol, and sex are not moments that a parent looks forward to, but they are essential to your child’s health and well-being. Keep your child safe by having a serious talk about the dangers and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, and drugs.

Just do it. It’s not an easy talk to have, but you’re not doing yourself or your child any favors by waiting to do it. Unless your kids know the rules and how you feel about substance abuse, they will be left to guess on their own and find out from other sources.

Be clear and specific. Let your child know exactly how you feel about their use of alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Explain what the rules will be, and what the consequences are for disobeying. Ask your child to help you develop your house rules and consequences so that they can be a part of the agreement.

Offer yourself as an ally. As a parent, you are both an enforcer and protector. Your child should know that there are rules, and they will be punished if they break them, but at the same time, you are there to help. Explain that if they are in a situation that makes them uncomfortable, you will drop anything and everything to give them a ride home to safety.

Be a good example. Telling your child not to abuse drugs, alcohol, or tobacco is not effective if you abuse them yourself. Be sure that your actions speak louder than your words. Avoid using drugs, and if you smoke or drink, do not abuse them. You should also explain the difference between enjoyment and abuse so that your child learns how to respectfully deal with substances as he or she grows up.

Stay reasonable and consistent. Don’t make unrealistic threats, and be sure that rules are maintained at all times for all members of your household. You should always enforce rules when they are broken, not just occasionally, so that your child understands that there will be consequences if they abuse alcohol, tobacco, or drugs.

Talking about tobacco, drugs, and alcohol can be difficult, but if you take the right approach and follow through, you can have a good conversation about substance abuse.